I don't have to be me till...tomorrow.

Sorry I didn't blog during my minication...this seems like an appropriate Sunday night song.

I don't have to be me till Monday...

I got me a brand new car waiting in the driveway
Shinin' like a bright new star, I've be wishin'on it everyday
To take me away from here
So I called in to where I work, told a little white lie
No my back don't really hurt,but that's my alibi
My temporary ticket to anywhere but there
Call it an early weekend,call it goin'off the deep in
Call it what you want, I made up my mind

I don't have to be me 'til Monday Friday, Saturday, Sunday I ain't gonna face reality
Three days without punching a time clock
Three nights of goin' non-stop
No work and all play I don't have to be 'til Monday Yeah

I can do what I wanna do, be who I wanna be
I got no one to answer to,soon as I turn the key
A cash machine, gasoline and we're outta here
Call it an early weekend,call it goin'off the deep end
Baby, you and me, we can leave it all behind

I don't have to be me 'til Monday Friday, Saturday, Sunday I ain't gonna face reality
Three days without punching a time clock
Three nights of goin' non-stop
No work and all play I don't have to be me 'til Monday Yeah

Oh,there days without punching a time clock
Three nights of goin' non-stop
No work and all play I don't have to be me 'til Monday

(I don't have to be me) I don't have to be me 'til Monday (I don't have to be me) I don't have to be me 'til Moday (I don't have to be me) I don't have to be me 'til Monday

Telluride

Had a friend send me a picture of Winter Park via text this weekend....apparently they got a foot or so of snow.  I love winter and skiing and all the cozy things that come along with it....hot chocolate, red wine, scarves, puffy vests, fires, beanies and soups!  Winter Park during ski season is one of my happy places....lots of great memories with wonderful friends in familiar places.  Tim McGraw's Telluride gets me excited for winter (even though it isn't about Winter Park) and the Berthud Pass drive with Beth!

Tim McGraw
Telluride

When I was nineteen,
I threw my stuff in the car
I headed up to the Rockies, got a job at this bar
Sellin' beer to the locals, just barely gettin' by
On the tips from the rich kids there on Daddy's dime
But when I saw her walk in one night
I knew that I'd be alright in...

Telluride
The snow fallin' down
I was wakin' up with her in that sleepy little town
In her eyes my world came so alive
I never will forget the moment she arrived in
Telluride

We spent that whole winter tangled up by a fire
Castin' shadows on the cabin wall drownin' in desire
Confessin' all our secrets and laughin' out loud
So high up on that mountain
I thought we'd never come down
It was a dream we were livin' in
And I was the happiest I'd ever been, in....

Telluride
That snow fallin' down
I was waking up with her in that sleepy little town
In her eyes my world came so alive
I never will forget all those sleepless night in
Telluride

Telluride

It ended just like a movie scene
And I had to play the part
Of the lover who stood there and watched her leave
And me with the frozen heart, in....

Telluride
The snow fallin' down
Standing there alone in that sleepy little town
In her eyes my world came so alive
I never will forget the day she said good bye,
in...Telluride

Serendipity?

Had another difficult, crazy day.  Went to a funeral for a 19 year old kid that took his own life.  The church was standing room only and full of people of all ages.  Lots of incredibly mixed feelings about all of it...anger, sadness, a sense of desperation for the family and other young people there, a need to try to save all of them, amazement that someone who most likely felt incredibly alone had a church full of people mourning for him and fear that all it takes is one other kid in that room to feel that same way and we could all be brought back to that same little church.  This was not my first time in that church and sadly will probably not be my last.

Before I left school to walk to the 10am funeral, I had an encounter with a difficult co-worker who didn't think it was necessary for so many of our mental health professionals to be out of the building, at a funeral, five minutes away where there were grieving children.  She basically told me that we couldn't all be out of the building and that we couldn't go.  I responded by telling her that it had been discussed at our mental health team meeting 15 minutes prior and that we were going.  This went back and for a few times until she finally said that she was not going to be responsible for covering for any of us at lunch duty or anything else that went on while we were gone.  I said that she didn't need to because we already had people that had volunteered to do so.  She made one last ditch effort at telling me that we all shouldn't leave.  I said "I'm going" and turned around and left.  This is not the first issue between myself and this particular person which is extremely frustrating.  When we got back from the funeral, a funny turn of events took place that, as far as I can tell, will most likely result in a larger discussion about my difficult co-workers stance this morning.  This disagreement could be the drop in the bucket that finally makes it tip....who knows. 

When I got back to my desk, I had an email from my sister that was so touching that it brought tears to my eyes.  The last line of her email was: "...it all just doesn't seem to make sense at the time, it turns out that sometimes it makes a lot of sense, we just haven't gotten far enough in our life to understand it yet."  Word of a wise woman that can fit so many situations right now.....it is just hard to trust in that at times. 

Will this terrible loss and all the aftermath of it make sense at some point?  I sure hope so for all of the people that filled the church today.  Will all of our efforts to fix the difficult situation at work suddenly come to a head because of this one interaction?  I hope so....how ironic if it is the lack of effort on our part that is finally the tipping point for this ongoing situation.

Lastly, I got home today and got a card in the mail from one of my best friends.  This is what is said:  "Freakin'? Friggin'? Frickin'??"  On the inside:  "You can cope with anything if you have a friend and a good "F" word substitute."  Underneath she wrote: "A 2009 study published in NeuroReport says that bad language is good for you.  Psychologists at Keele Uninversity in England found that swearing lessens pain.  So fucking-A!"

Can't make sense of everything nor can we control everything....fuck it.  I knew there was a reason that I cuss like a sailor!

So....my song today is a one of my "feel good" songs from late high school/college.  

Chely Wright
Listenin' to the Radio (1996) - definitely worth listening to! 

He wears a Harley Jacket and a kiss me smile.
Through his steel blue eyes I can see for miles.
He digs big band music and the Rolling Stones.
But we listen country when were all alone.
'Cause it makes me crazy.
It drives me wild.
I like my lovin' country style.

Well, were listenin' to the radio.
Flyin' down the highway.
Feelin' like outlaws.
Wind's goin our way.
Sittin' right beside him.
Hell-bent, holdin' on.
Flippin' through the stations.
Lookin' for a fast song.
Singin' along with the ones we know.
Listenin' to the radio.

Well, we stop for gas, but not for long.
'Cause that Philco radio keeps us movin' along.
He floors that '66 Mustang, rag top 289.
While I blow him kisses from the passenger side.
'Cause it makes him crazy.
It drives him wild.
He likes his lovin' country style

Well, were listenin' to the radio.
Flyin' down the highway.
Feelin' like outlaws.
Wind's goin our way.
Sittin' right beside him.
Hell-bent, holdin' on.
Flippin' through the stations.
Lookin' for a fast song.
Singin' along with the ones we know.
Listenin' to the radio.

I slide on over when the song slows down.
I give him all my love to throw his arms around.
We're so in love we never touch the ground.
Blastin' through the wind in a wall of sound.

Well, were listenin' to the radio.
Flyin' down the highway.
Feelin' like outlaws.
Wind's goin our way.
Sittin' right beside him.
Hell-bent, holdin' on.
Flippin' through the stations.
Lookin' for a fast song.
Singin' along with the ones we know.
Listenin' to the radio.

Well, were listenin' to the radio.
Flyin' down the highway.
Feelin' like outlaws.
Wind's goin our way.
Sittin' right beside him.
Hell-bent, holdin' on.
Flippin' through the stations.
Lookin' for a fast song.
Singin' along with the ones we know.
Listenin' to the radio.

Run to you

So I hadn't heard a song that jumped out at me today and had decided to just post a few of my "go-to-feel-good" songs, and then Run to You came on the radio.  It made me think about how nice it is to have someone to run to when things are rough (and to share the good).  It makes me sad when someone has a hard time naming people that they can turn to for support, and I hear this way more than I care to admit.  It makes me very grateful to have so many people in my life that I can run to no matter what life throws my way!

Run to You
Lady Antebellum

I run from hate, I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists, but I run too late
I run my life or is it running me, run from my past
I run too fast or too slow it seems

When lies become the truth
That's when I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you baby
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you

We run on fumes, your life and mine
Like the sands of time slippin' right on through
And our love's the only truth
That's why I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you baby
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you

Whoa, oh, I run to you

This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you, I run to you baby
When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to, I run to you, I run to you, yeah

Whoa, oh, I run to you
I run to you girl, whoa

I always run to you
Run to you, run to you

Unanswered prayers

There is has been a host of things going on in my life recently both personally and professionally.  One of the things that is difficult for me to deal with is not having control over situations whether that is not being able to have something work out the way that I want it to or not being able to fix the things that my students at school are dealing with.  I have had two situations at school in the last week that are disturbing and scary, and honestly, I am not a religious person (although I used to be), but I am having a hard time with God right now.  I don't "pray" on a regular basis, but I do "wish" and "hope" for many different things which is like praying I suppose.  I am having a hard time understanding why some things happen and some things don't....and then there are the things that are completely f-ed up and make no sense at all.  All of that being said....I heard this song on the way into work this morning and it makes me want to try to believe in it.

I used to listen to this song and only hear the part about the relationship (which was very true in my situation), but hearing it today, there can be so much more to the message.  Thanks Garth!

Unanswered Prayers

Just the other night a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
Inn her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thankedd the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Don't want this day to start...

I heard this song on the way into to work today.  I went to bed last night thinking that it was going to be a long, rough day in light of events that happened last week.  I was not looking forward to the day to say the least.  Mr. Luke Bryan made me think of riding around in a car with my friends, singing at the top of our lungs (maybe drinking a beer or two).  Sometimes Friday nights are the only thing that gets us through the week.....

Luke Bryan – I Don’t Want This Night To End
Girl, I know I don’t know you
But your pretty little eyes so blue
Are pulling me in
Like the moon on your skin
I’m so glad you trusted me
To slide up on this dusty seat
And let your hair down
Get outta town
Got the stars comin’ out over my hood
And all I know now is it’s going good
You got your hands up
You’re rocking in my truck
You got the radio on
You’re singing every song
I’m set on cruise control
I’m slowly losing hold of everything I got
You’re looking so damn hot
And I don’t know what road we’re on
Or where we’ve been from starin’ at you
Girl, all I know is I don’t want this night to end
Gonna cuss the morning when it comes
Cause I know that the rising sun,
Ain’t no good for me
Cause you’ll have to leave
Gonna make the most of every mile
Do anything to make your smile
Land on my lips
Get drunk on your kiss
The clock on the dash says 3:35
There’s plenty of gas and the night’s still alive
You got your hands up
You’re rocking in my truck
You got the radio on
You’re singing every song
I’m set on cruise control
I’m slowly losing hold of everything I got
You’re looking so damn hot
And I don’t know what road we’re on
Or where we’ve been from starin’ at you
Girl, all I know is I don’t want this night to end
You got your hands up
You’re rocking in my truck
You got the radio on
You’re singing every song
I’m set on cruise control
I’m slowly losing hold of everything I got
You’re looking so damn hot
And I don’t know what road we’re on
Or where we’ve been from starin’ at you
Girl, all I know is I don’t want this night to end
I don’t want this night to end
No, I don’t want this night to end